Should a Christian have to affirm somebody's pronouns and gender identity?
The question of whether a Christian must affirm someone's self-identified pronouns and gender identity is a theological matter revolving around the tension between the biblical command for truth and the command for love and respect. The traditional Christian view prioritizes God's design but still mandates dignity for all people.
1. The Theological Constraint: God’s Design and Truth
The traditional Christian position is rooted in the belief that affirming a gender identity that contradicts biological sex would mean affirming a concept contrary to biblical truth about creation.
The Binary of Creation: The foundational theological constraint is God's establishment of humanity as two distinct and complementary sexes: “male and female He created them” (Genesis 1:27). From this perspective, a person’s biological sex is an objective, God-given reality that defines their gender.
The Call to Truth: Because Jesus proclaimed Himself as the “the way, and the truth, and the life” (John 14:6), the Christian is called to speak and uphold truth. To use pronouns that affirm a gender identity contrary to biological sex is often seen as participating in a false narrative about that person’s God-given identity. Therefore, a Christian is typically not required to affirm an identity that contradicts this core truth of creation.
Acknowledging the Struggle: This position acknowledges that the intense internal struggle of gender dysphoria is real and painful, and it demands compassion, not ridicule.
2. The Command for Love and Respect
Despite the theological disagreement on identity, the Bible mandates a high standard for how Christians treat all people.
Love for Neighbor: The second great commandment is to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31). This requires extending respect, kindness, patience, and dignity to every individual, regardless of personal choices or beliefs.
Navigating the Interaction: Because of the command to love, Christians often weigh where their conscience should draw the line. Some choose to use preferred pronouns as an act of social courtesy or charity, believing the act is primarily about politeness and building a relational bridge rather than theological affirmation. Others maintain their boundary by consistently using the person's given name or gender-neutral language to show respect without affirming the specific identity.
The ultimate conclusion is that a Christian is not mandated to affirm an identity that conflicts with the truth of creation, but they are mandated to treat the person with full dignity and respect.
