Is it ethical to assume someone's gender based on appearance?
Introduction
Social interaction is built upon assumptions. We assume a person speaking English can understand us, and we assume a person in a uniform is a police officer. Similarly, we rely on visual cues (dress, voice, physical features) to guide our initial interactions regarding gender. Making an initial, working assumption based on typical appearance is a natural part of human communication.
However, the Christian ethical challenge arises when this assumption encounters the reality of transgender or gender-nonconforming individuals. The ethical test is not the initial assumption, but how we proceed when that assumption is challenged by the other person's reality or self-identification.
Main: Three Principles for Guiding Interaction
A Christian's conduct in this area must be guided by the paramount command to love and respect the dignity of every person, made in the image of God.
1. The Principle of Honoring Dignity
Every human being, regardless of their gender identity or presentation, is created in God's image and deserves unconditional respect.
Honor All People: The Bible commands us to “Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor” (1 Peter 2:17). This broad command demands that our interactions with all people be marked by dignity, courtesy, and respect, even when we disagree with their life choices or identity claims.
The Goal of Love: When communicating, the Christian's goal should always be the spiritual and physical well-being of the neighbor (Mark 12:31). If an assumption or the language used is clearly experienced by the other person as an act of hostility, mockery, or intentional disregard, it violates the command to love.
2. The Distinction Between Sex and Gender Identity
The Christian worldview affirms the binary creation of humanity as male and female.
The Creation Standard: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27). The Church holds that biological sex is divinely ordained and immutable.
The Complexity of Identity: However, Christian love must acknowledge that some individuals experience a deep, genuine internal conflict between their biological sex and their psychological gender identity (gender dysphoria). While the Christian cannot affirm the claim that gender is fluid, they must address the person's suffering with compassion.
3. Wisdom, Discretion, and Public Witness
Christian interaction requires wisdom in a public setting to protect one's witness and promote genuine conversation.
Correction vs. Conversation: The ethical course is to move from an assumption to inquiry or acceptance of the person's stated identity in social conversation. If a Christian must correct an identity claim (e.g., in a deep theological or pastoral context), that correction must be done privately, gently, and with an eye toward restoration, not public shaming.
The Practice of Respect: Using the language requested by the individual in casual conversation (their preferred name or pronoun) is often viewed by ethicists as an act of courtesy and respect for their dignity, even if the underlying theological claim about gender identity is not affirmed.
Conclusion
Is it ethical to assume someone's gender based on appearance? It is a morally neutral part of social interaction, but it becomes unethical if you use that assumption to intentionally disrespect, demean, or refuse basic human dignity to the other person.
The Christian is called to lead with grace, wisdom, and honor in all interactions, ensuring that love always defines their engagement with the complex issue of personal identity.
